


Dance, Monkey, Dance

by Tarlan



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Community: mcsheplets, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-25
Updated: 2012-10-25
Packaged: 2017-11-17 00:50:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are a lot of rumors flying around Atlantis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dance, Monkey, Dance

**Author's Note:**

> Written for:  
>  **AncientCityBingo** #19 Heard it through the Grapevine, and **McSheplets** #130 Dance

"Dance, Monkey, Dance," Rodney murmured as he was ordered around again by some lackey from the I.O.A. who wanted to show even more visitors around the city.

Since landing close to San Francisco, the city had been swamped with dignitaries, scientists, and high ranking military from all over the world - or at least from those countries that knew about the Stargate program. All of them wanted to see different aspects of the city, from the bowels of its Stardrive to the soaring heights of the main control tower, and every one of those _very important persons_ had insisted on having the tour with the highest ranking scientist on-board.

Rodney had tried to sneak off from the current tour party once already, offering up Radek in this place but Greenstick... Grainstock? Whatever his name was, had almost made a public scene when he noticed Rodney was missing. He had called in the highest ranking military officer to find him and bring him back.

If it had been John or even O'Neill, then they might have stayed ' _lost_ ' together out on one of the piers or balconies, especially if there happened to be fishing rods or, in John's case, golf clubs handy. Unfortunately, the highest ranking officer had been Colonel Ellis, and he'd been just as pissed at having to dance to the I.O.A's tune as Rodney, taking great delight in dragging Rodney back to the main party.

"Perhaps Doctor McKay can explain how this particular piece of Ancient technology works?" Granstoke said with a fake grin.

"Only if there is even a remote possibility of someone in this party understanding String Theory and Gravitating P-Branes." Rodney looked at the blank faces. "I thought not."

"I'm sure you can dumb it down for the rest of us," Grimstock said under his breath with an insincere smile plastered on his face.

"Sadly, no. All I can do is switch it on and let you all go ooh and aah at the pretty pictures it makes."

"Switch it on, McKay," he said through gritted teeth.

Rodney initialized the control panel and quickly brought one of the prettier images up on the display, rolling his eyes when some diplomat's wife started _ooohing_.

"So pretty."

Rodney bit back on a whimper, positive he was killing brain cells just by standing close to some of these people. He could feel his I.Q. dropping a point with each inane question and was never more grateful than when John appeared out of nowhere and mentioned they had prepared a buffet for their honored guests.

Rodney hung back as the guests moved off swiftly.

"Rough crowd?"

Rodney gave him a sour look.

"Heard it through the grapevine that you tried to give them the slip. Ellis is pissed."

"That will teach him from trying to usurp your command."

"Just hang in there, Rodney. Also heard a rumor this will be the last group for the foreseeable future."

"If I believed in God, I'd go down on my knees in thanks right now... but they said that about the previous bunch of morons."

John grinned, slapping Rodney on the shoulder before sauntering off to who knew where. Rodney was unconvinced John did anything in Atlantis until they needed someone for a suicide mission, then suddenly, he was the only man for the job. Luckily, Rodney had enough sense of self-preservation for the both of them, except when around the terminally stupid.

Later, having survived the last part of the tour without losing too many more brain cells, Rodney managed to hunt John down to one of the balconies overlooking the ocean. The sea was calm and a beautiful blue, reflecting the color of the sky, yet it was still sometimes hard to believe they were on Earth rather than on Lantea.

He missed Sam - the Flagecallus, not the hot Colonel, despite everyone still believing he had a gigantic crush on Sam Carter. It was one of the reasons why he and Jennifer hadn't worked out, because she was convinced he had a crush on someone else. Sadly, she refused to tell him the name of the person he was crushing on, saying he should already know, which was ridiculous. If he knew who she meant then he wouldn't have needed to ask. It was not as if he talked about that many people outside of his team... and maybe Radek. Except he knew he didn't have a man-crush on Radek... or Beckett, come to think of it, despite the kiss, which was so not him.

He'd considered Teyla but felt rather queasy at the thought. She was like a surrogate sister and mother all rolled into one small but deadly package, and he'd never felt any inclination to date his sister or his mother.

"Do I have a crush on someone?" he asked John out of the blue, because if anyone knew then it would be him. John gave him a blank stare followed by a raised eyebrow, so Rodney pointed a finger at him. "Exactly! If I was crushing on someone then you'd not only know all about it but would be teasing me mercilessly."

"I thought you were with Keller?"

Rodney waved a hand. "Apparently, I'm not crushing on her so she kind of... dumped me."

"Huh!"

"That's it? My girlfriend dumps me and all you can say is... Huh!"

"Well, you don't seem that cut up about it, Rodney."

He opened his mouth to repudiate but snapped it closed. "Huh." 

John was standing silently beside him watching the white tips of the small waves, and after a moment of waiting impatiently, Rodney smacked John's arm. "So?"

John smacked him back just a little harder. "So what?"

"Who is it?"

"The crush? I don't know, Rodney. You did mention some biochemist. Mandy Higgson?" He pulled a funny face. "Except, I think you fired her yesterday after the biohazard incident."

Rodney waved his fingers near his head. "Doesn't ring any bells."

John gave another half-hearted shrug. "You want to see if there's any leftover turkey."

"What is it with you and turkey? Were you raised on a turkey farm?" He snapped his fingers. "Maybe your parents were vegetarian and you spent years suffering Tofu burgers for Thanksgiving. No, wait. That's just _my_ sister." He winced. "Talking of... She wants us to come to hers for Thanksgiving. Said there's no excuse this year seeing's how we're not a galaxy and a million hungry Wraith away."

"Tofu burgers?" John repeated, looking dubious.

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Really?"

"Sure!"

"Huh!"

The silence lengthened as they enjoyed the warmth of the late afternoon sun, and maybe it was the dead brain cells zapping back to life but a thought struck him suddenly.

"Why didn't Jeanie invite Jennifer?"

John glanced at him, one eyebrow riding high in a mocking gesture. "Maybe because you and Keller broke up?"

"No, no, no. The invite was made two weeks ago. Jenn and I only broke up two days ago."

"Maybe Keller doesn't like Tofu?"

"Does anyone? Other than my sister. I was telling her the other day that you deserved real tur..." He swallowed hard and turned to stare at John in horror. Rodney pointed a finger at him. "It's you. That's why you don't know. Because it's you."

"It's me... what, Rodney?"

"You. You're the one I'm crushing on." Rodney looked him over from hair to feet. "It's the crazy hair and the slinky hips, the suicidal heroics and occasional bursts of brilliance... and all that leaning. Why don't I ever see this coming?"

"Why don't I?" John murmured.

"Ha! Because you're Colonel Oblivious whereas I... I... Oh God! I've got a man-crush on my best friend!"

He looked to John in horror, expecting to see him looking back in anger, or repugnance, or in equal horror, but instead John looked... thoughtful. His hazel-green eyes were studying Rodney, finally lingering on his mouth. When he leaned in, Rodney leaned back automatically until John cradled his face in the palm of his hand. This time when John leaned in, Rodney waited for the soft press of lips. The insistent pressure broke through his confusion and he started kissing back, slow and easy, tentatively tasting and exploring.

John pulled back, licking his lips thoughtfully, while Rodney reached up to brush his own lips with a finger, amazed by the tingling sensation.

"Huh!"

"Yeah."

"So... you like my sister's Tofu."

"No."

Rodney sagged with relief. "Thank God. Not brain damaged then. Or at least no more than usual."

John grinned. "You know what else I heard through the Atlantis grapevine?" he murmured as he reached for Rodney again.

"No?"

"That I've got a crush on you."

"And is it true?"

"Yeah," he breathed softly as he captured Rodney's lips again.

END


End file.
